Cringe has become a powerful force in corporate life. Not the genuinely unprofessional behavior that deserves criticism, but the hot flush of embarrassment we feel when we imagine colleagues rolling their eyes at our ambition. In this week's newsletter and podcast episode, I unpack how that fear shows up in job search, LinkedIn, networking, negotiation, and reinvention, and I offer practical scripts and steps to help you move through it. The goal is not to become loud and performative, but to become visible in a way that serves your long term career.
In my coaching sessions, I keep hearing the same quiet confessions: “I know I should post on LinkedIn, but that feels cringe.” The same goes for networking messages, salary conversations, and even saying out loud that you are aiming for a bigger role. In this newsletter, I take you through actions to help you engage with the idea of “productive cringe” and show how the slightly embarrassing moves you avoid are often the exact moves that unlock new roles, better opportunities, and a more sustainable career.
Action Steps to Overcoming Cringe
Cringe is the fear of social embarrassment that keeps you from being visible, asking for what you want, and trying new things in your career. The tasks you label as cringe are often the exact tasks that move you closer to the roles, the income, and the impact you say you want.
Even the leaders you admire have had their own public cringe moments. They are still standing. Many of them are thriving because they kept going.
Your invitation this week: choose one small, slightly cringe-y action from your low-stakes list and do it. Then notice what happens.
Talking about cringe is interesting. Acting on it is where your career actually shifts. Here’s a simple framework you can use this week.
1. Normalise the discomfort
Before anything else, remind yourself: feeling cringe is not a sign you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sign you’re doing something noticeable. You are not trying to become a caricature of yourself or perform for the internet. You’re simply practising being seen for the work you do and the value you bring. That will feel uncomfortable at first. Let that be expected, not a problem.
2. Map your “cringe edge”
Grab a piece of paper and draw three columns:
-
Low-stakes cringe
-
Medium-stakes cringe
-
High-stakes cringe
Then fill them in.
Examples:
-
Low-stakes:
-
Posting on LinkedIn once a week
-
Asking a former colleague for a quick catch up
-
Commenting thoughtfully on someone else’s post
-
-
Medium-stakes:
-
Asking for a referral
-
Telling your manager the level you’re targeting
-
Speaking up once in a senior meeting
-
-
High-stakes:
-
Negotiating an offer or a pay rise
-
Announcing a major career pivot publicly
-
Sharing a personal story about redundancy or burnout
-
What goes where will be different for each person. The point is to see, on paper, where your current edge actually sits.
3. Choose one small move for this week
Now pick one low-stakes action for the week ahead. Not ten. Just one.
For example:
-
Updating your LinkedIn About section with clear, confident language
-
Sending one outreach message to someone at a company you admire
-
Asking one trusted colleague for a short recommendation or testimonial
Expect it to feel awkward. That’s the point. You are teaching your system that you can survive a small social risk. Put this action in your calendar as a real commitment, not a “nice to have”.
4. Debrief after you do it
Once you’ve done your chosen action, pause for two minutes and notice:
-
What actually happened?
-
Did the worst-case scenario play out, or was it quieter than you imagined?
-
What physical sensations did you notice? Tight chest? Racing heart?
-
How long did that discomfort last?
You’ll probably find the answer is: “Nothing catastrophic happened. I just felt exposed for a short while.” That’s your nervous system learning in real time that you can handle this. Over time, your tolerance grows, and what used to feel cringeworthy becomes ordinary.
5. Repeat and gently raise the stakes
If you repeat this process every week, you can slowly move from the low-stakes column into the medium-stakes column. You’re not throwing yourself off a cliff. You’re climbing your own version of “Cringe Mountain” step by step. One small visible action, every week, in the direction of the career you actually want.
Success Lives on the Other Side of Cringe: This Week's Podcast Episode.
If you are in your 40s, 50s, or 60s and looking for your next role, there is a good chance that “cringe” is quietly slowing you down. You might hesitate to post your wins, message people at your dream employer, or name the senior titles you are targeting. In this episode, I explore why that fear is so strong right now and how to reframe it as a normal part of growth. I walk through everyday “cringe moments” and show you how to handle them with calm, clarity, and professionalism.
- Listen to the full episode on the podcast website and read the blog
- Listen on Apple Podcasts
- Listen on Spotify
- Watch on YouTube
Thinking about working with me 1:1 during your job search?
If you’re a mid or senior professional navigating redundancy, a role change, or a planned move, you don’t have to do it alone.
- If your role was made redundant: Many employers offer coaching or outplacement support as part of your package. You can usually request to work with your preferred coach. If you’d like that to be me, I can liaise directly with your employer and HR so that my fees are covered as part of your benefits.
- If you’re self-funding: You can also invest in 1:1 coaching privately. For many professionals, this is treated as a work-related expense, but you should always confirm this with your financial advisor or accountant.
Working together, we will structure your search, refine your positioning, improve your applications and interviews, and prepare you to negotiate with confidence. My clients are experienced professionals who want a clear plan, a thinking partner, and a higher probability of landing a role that matches their skills, seniority, and salary expectations.
If you feel ready to explore whether we are the right fit to work together, book a discovery meeting with me.
Please note I am almost booked out for private consultations and discovery calls in December, so please be quick, or book them for January.
Book a discovery call in January
Time out
The Australian newspaper recently published the top 25 songs of the last 25 years, and Andre wasn't impressed. So without seeing the list, I created my own. We both agree my list is better, but I want you to be the judge. My rules: 1) each artist only gets one song; 2) the song had to be a hit; 3) among many great songs from one artist, I chose the most iconic or important at the time it was released. You can find this playlist on YouTube Music.
Renata's Top 25 Songs of the 21st Century (in no particular order!)
- Don't Know Why, Norah Jones
- Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down, Alicia Keys
- Better Together, Jack Johnson
- Single Ladies, Beyonce
- I Don't Feel Like Dancin', Scissor Sisters
- Royals, Lorde
- Another Day of Sun, La La Land Cast
- Cardigan, Taylor Swift
- Shallow, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
- 24K Magic, Bruno Mars
- Best of You, Foo Fighters
- Supermassive Black Hole, Muse
- Redbone, Childish Gambino
- Bad Guy, Billy Eilish
- I Gotta Feeling, The Black Eyed Peas
- Hey Ya! Outkast
- Watermelon Sugar, Harry Styles
- I Feel It Coming (feat. Daft Punk), The Weekend
- Walking On A Dream, Empire of the Sun
- The Less I Know The Better, Tame Impala
- Shape of You, Ed Sheeran
- Happy, Pharrell Williams
- Somebody That I Used to Know, Gotye and Kimbra
- Someone Like You, Adele
- Back to Black, Amy Winehouse
Do you want extra help with your next career move? Whether you want to start with a self-paced course or you’re ready for more hands-on support, I’ve built a range of programs, services, and tools specifically for experienced professionals in transition.
Click here to learn more about my services
Here's to your career success
RBX
Renata Bernarde | Career Coach | Host, The Job Hunting Podcast
